From the Hart: Thoughts on the Year

tsj column writers - from the hartBy Ron Hart

Here is my annual ADD list of random things we all should be thankful for that I did not write about:

Obama did pardoned the traditional Thanksgiving turkey, but only because it had a crack distribution conviction in 2005.

The female ISIS suicide bomber who met her demise is someone we all should be thankful for. I wonder: does she get 72 virgin men or just a season pass to Comic Con? I bet she’d settle for just one man who picks up after himself.

Hillary Clinton keeps getting caught in lies. After publicly maintaining for months afterward that the Benghazi attacks were caused by a YouTube video, emails confirm she knew it was terrorists from the start. Hillary needs to get more honest and realize she is running for president, not creating a Tinder profile.

Among the embarrassing emails released was one where Hillary asked a staffer, “I heard on the radio there’s a cabinet meeting, Can I go?” In another, she found out about Benghazi attacks when Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda mentioned it on their morning show.

This year has proven that the real risk to African-American males is not cops or black-on-black gang violence, it’s marrying a Kardashian.

After a Russian jetliner was downed by ISIS, Vladimir Putin — reacting more strongly than Obama — bombed relentlessly. As always, ISIS said it bombed hospitals. So the charity working in the area changed its name to “Doctors without Doctors.”

Obama’s feckless foreign policy revealed to us his new doctrine. From Teddy Roosevelt’s “speak softly and carry a big stick,” to George Bush’s “willingness to unilaterally pursue U.S. military interest,” all presidents have had one. The Obama doctrine seems to be either “speak loudly and carry no stick” or “you can’t win ’em all.”

It was about time Bobby Jindal got out of the GOP race. He was at 2 % in the polls. When you’ve been running for a year and you are tied with low-fat milk, it’s time to get out. Martin O’Malley should too. He should talk it over with his close friends and family. I bet half of them don’t know he’s running.

Great news for folks who don’t get good news! Netflix renewed its award winning show “Orange is the New Black.” It’s the only women’s prison movie men don’t have to immediately delete from their browser history.

Ohioans celebrated their state’s aviation history. John Glenn was the first American to orbit Earth; the Wright brothers designed the first airplane there; Akron has the Goodyear blimp; and Neil Armstrong, another Ohioan, was the first to walk on the moon. The history of the state is clear: folks will do anything to get out of Ohio.

Pete Rose has had a Major League Baseball gambling case against him since 1989, but folks are rethinking it. His case seems to have gone on forever with nothing happening—just like a baseball game.

The Syrian refugee issue remains a hot potato. Southern cities refuse to take them; sanctuary cities like Los Angeles say they will, but the vetting process will be extensive. The refugees will not be evaluated on their criminal history, race, creed or color, but will be judged like all others there — by the car they drive. If two male Syrian terrorists were to show up in a California court for deportation, the judge would instinctively marry them.

ISIS, the “J-V” per Obama, continues to recruit. On their application is the question, “where do you see yourself exploding in four years?”

I’m not sure why we think we can vet and deport Syrian refugee terrorists. Every day we fly illegals who have come here many times back to Mexico. Now they just use their frequent flyer miles to fly right back to LA.

At age 99, Dorothea Daniels graduated from a California college with a degree in social sciences. She had to take a job as a stripper out near the airport to pay off her student loans in time.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron’s a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.

 

Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
%d bloggers like this: