Jimmy Carter looked up from hammering nails into a house last week to criticize President Obama. “Why ain’t he out here helping me build houses,” asked the former president.
When advised that Obama was still president and was occupied with the crisis in Iraq, Carter replied, “You’re kidding me!” I thought it was some Republican that got us into Iraq.”
“That was the first time,” replied his aide.
“You mean we’ve gone back again?” “Here, have some peanuts,” he said as he reached into his overall pocket. “They’re good. I grew them myself.”
“Now,” said Carter, “what’s this about us being back in Iraq?”
The aide replied that Obama was bombing the ISIS terrorist organization. “I thought we were after Saddam Hussein,” said Carter.
“We captured him,” responded the aide.
“Good! Did we ever get those hostages out of Iran?”
“Yes, Mr. President,” said the aide, “Ronald Reagan got them out.”
“Damn republicans, they like to horn in on everything and get the glory,” retorted Carter. “You want more peanuts? I’ve got plenty. Now what’s this ISIS deal?”
“They are terrorist that are trying to take over parts of Syria and Iraq,” answered the aide. “President Obama is using his bombing strategy to try to contain or defeat the enemy.”
“Bombing isn’t going to solve the problem. I ought to know about bombing. I bombed out in Washington. He needs to send a few battalions of troops over there. Either that or a couple of Texas Rangers could solve the problem,” remarked the former president.
“Let me tell you what,” he said, “Obama better get a handle to this ISIS thing. If they are that big of a threat to the Middle East, they could interfere with all the Arab oil money coming to my foundations. Did I vote for him?”
The aide replied, “Yes sir, you voted for him. He’s a democrat and you always vote for the democrats.”
“That’s right,” replied Carter, “tell me again why he’s got us in Iraq.”
“He’s protecting your Arab oil money.”
“Damn good man,” said Carter. “Make a note, we’ll vote for him again. Have some more peanuts. Raised them myself.”
“You can’t vote for Obama again, he’s in his second term,” informed the aide. “And you need to quit cussing. You’re still a deacon in the Baptist church.”
“Okay, what democrat are we voting for this time?”
The aide replied, “Sir, it appears Hillary Clinton will be running.”
“Yes sir,” said the aide.
“Can’t vote for her,” he said, “Bill tried to put the make on Rosalynn when we spent the night at the White House. And anyway, how can you vote for a woman who hasn’t worn a dress in twenty years? Here, have some peanuts.”